You Could Freeze The Ears Off A Statue

There are other expressions, of course, but this will do as an example of the weather around here.

No, this does not show just how bad the global warming people have messed it up; one week does not a century make. Nor does it even a decade make. Thanks to our big push and even bigger denial on industrialization, our planet is going down the crapper even faster than some friends are heading into hot flashes.

However, all this makes zero difference when you are out there freezing any part of your anatomy off trying to walk the dog and thinking of how much nicer fish might be as pets. The fellow on tv who tells us the weather says later this week it will be in the high twenties. The twenties! A veritable heat wave which still will not thaw our pipes, empty the shelters or lead to the return of the bluebirds of happiness.

But we’re pretty much stuck here, barely above 41 Degrees North Latitude, even in our misery wondering just how bad it must be for the people in Florida with their never-changing weather and how dull it must be. Character, we feel, is built upon weather and only the good die weathered.

As do what the Floridians think, I don’t know. Maybe they soothe themselves with the sure knowledge that life is good and sunshine is sweet. We do, too, but only when there is a cold, biting wind part of the year.