What's Up, Docs?

My cruise ticket arrived today, along with everything else that goes along in the packet. Together, they’re called “travel documents,” or “travel docs.” They are the voice crying out in the wilderness, “Prepare ye the way of the cruise ship.” I think my walk-in closet is called a “stateroom,” and is located on Deck 6, inside. Way inside.

In the packet: The Wine Navigator, allowing me to see the choices of, of course, wines. I don’t remember seeing any prices and perhaps that’s all for the best.

There’s a thick booklet with all the shore excursions and dollar signs indicating the approximate prices. All the way from $ (up to fifty dollars), through $$ and $$$ to a maximum of $$$$ (over a hundred fifty).

There’s also a 13-page contract which includes, among other little facts of cruise life, that the company can, without our approval or compensation, use recordings (audio or video), still pictures or drawings of us for retail sale, marketing, promotional, publicity or training activities.

What else could I want, you ask? To be bumped, I reply; that’s what. I didn’t want an April trip, but at the time of booking, nothing else worked. I’m told the ship is full, which means they may need to bump someone and my travel agent already volunteered me. If they need someone who can wait six months (me! me!), I can get the fall cruise I originally wanted and the line will compensate me nicely. That’s what’s up, doc.