Monday, July 06, 2009

Questions I Want To Ask God

Do you miss not having a birthday?

When did you think up the idea of creating the universe?

Were you trying to create a chicken when the Big Bang happened?

You know the punch line to every joke ever told, to every joke that will ever be written. Do you have to fake laughter when they are told?

When you get angry, do you shout “Peopledammit”?

Did Jesus intend to save us, or did he end up on the wrong planet by mistake?

Did Mary and Joseph ever … uh, let’s skip that one.

You know when the world will end. Could you drop a hint? I’d like to take a personal day when that happens.

Would you really send a 12-year-old boy to hell for whacking off? Or is that a lie the church tells us because it’s hung up about sex?

Is there One True Religion, or are we all part of it?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

one question I would ask God is what is your last name?

July 09, 2009 9:50 AM  
Blogger Tom Carten said...

I have told people that God's last name is not "Damn" and his first name is not "Ohmy."

I never liked that.

July 09, 2009 10:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, how could divine inspiration lead to such wonders as Niagra Falls, a stunning sunset, love, and a child's smile have also created some of the asses I work for?

July 10, 2009 3:54 PM  

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