Wednesday, July 01, 2009

The Blue Jay At My Window

I’ve never seen a blue jay begging. This one has been hanging around in the tree branches outside my office window, then I noticed it was walking back and forth on the air conditioning unit; finally, it was standing on the windowsill looking at me. Well, look all you want, Mr. Jay, because the soup kitchen is down the street.

One thing I am not going to do is ask my friend Brenda, down at the pet food store, what these feathered bipeds would like as their entrée. Whatever it is, they can find it in the wild, as all the other birds do; no feeders shall from this window hang, no bear-attracting suet will tempt those beasts to devour our neighbors’ children

Robins are meat-eaters (sorry, PETA readers, but they are carnivores and I’m not about to scatter veggie-worms around my backyard), the smaller birds are grass-seed eaters and will go straight to bird-Hell where angels with lawnmowers will torture them forever. Blue jays belong in the sticks, although it’s nice to see one at my window.

What I definitely do not like to see is one of these nicely-decked-out jays sitting on the sill, looking at me, wearing a napkin, with silverware all lined up in front of it, a glass of water and an expectant smile on its face. That’s going a bit too far. That is presuming I will be at its peck and caw (bad pun, meant for crows).

Maybe those stupid bird toys where it leans down into the water, goes back up, then down into the water will disgust the thing sufficiently.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you sure it was a Blue Jay? Perhaps a bit of Holy Spirit action following yesterday's electrical excitement. Wittnesses talked about hearing a voice following yesterday's lightning, seemingly from one of the upper floors, announcing that you were a son-of-a something. At least that's what they think they heard.

July 02, 2009 11:03 AM  
Blogger Tom Carten said...

It doesn't take God to figure that out. Any stiff-backed fart-head will tell you that most any day of the week.

July 02, 2009 11:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Animals are one of the best judges of character-kids being the other. That Mr. or Ms. Jay came to you for a reason. I bet you have or will be feeding that creature of God-

July 02, 2009 2:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You want Jays? Share peanuts. not bad actually as they will not eat them, they will fly a short distance ans then hide the peanut under a leaf...and then the squirrels come.

Five bluejays will clear out 70 peanuts withing 20 minutes...saw it happen.

Nature is beautiful and severe, survival of the fittest.

Tom, the squirrel sang! your @ is grassed.

P.S..Bring a raincoat, summer monsoons are here and doing well

Exit 318

July 02, 2009 8:33 PM  

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