Monday, June 22, 2009

Let's Sit Down And Negotiate, Ok?

Negotiate. Ok, let’s negotiate. Pull up a chair and let’s see why that driver failed to negotiate the curve; we read about it all the time in the newspapers. Did the curve demand something the driver was unable to supply? The curve said, “I’ll let you go through me if you slow down,” and the driver said, “No can do.”

Exchanged. The police and criminals exchanged gunfire. The couple exchanged wedding vows. In both cases, did they need a receipt to make the exchange? Do you get your money back, or can you only switch it for a similar product? Do cops and robbers meet to do the exchange?

Executing. As in, executing a warrant or a contract. I was the executor of my mother’s will, yet no lawyers were harmed in the process. Not only that, but it’s probably still around here, showing that it might have been executed legally, but physically it’s still in pretty good shape.

Cut. Cut a deal, for one thing. Just today, a clerk at Boscov’s Department Store cut a deal with me and no blood was shed. No knives were visible anywhere. No deals were harmed in the process (uh, didn’t I just say that up above?); they made a sale, I got a discount and a slightly damaged chair found a new home.

I fixed the chair, by the way. The clerk wasn’t aware it could be done and I pretended it was busted for life. Took five minutes.


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