Wednesday, April 08, 2009

My Lightbulb Will Outlive Me

Picked up one of those lightbulbs which are supposed to last until the Second Coming. Which, I guess, depends on when Jesus shows up and does his Porky Pig imitation: “T-t-t-that’s all, folks.”

It says here the bulb will last five years asterisk. (Asterisk: Guaranteed to last 5 years based on rated life aat 4 hours consumer use per day at 120v.)

If this blog lasts another five years, I’ll have to let you know. If I remember and if you care, neither of which is likely to happen.

“Lamp Contains Mercury,” it says here in fairly large print. “Manage in Accord with Disposal Laws.” If I remember correctly, when our thermometers (outdoors as well as under-the-tongue) went south, we just tossed them in the garbage. Now I feel vaguely responsible for dozens of sea gulls flying in circles and eventually crashing to earth and an early death. We poisoned the town dump with them.

So this is a 13-watt bulb which lights the same as a 60-watt bulb. We are to believe that the angels or someone provide the extra 47 watts from a heavenly storehouse of wattage. I don’t think so; there has to be some funny stuff going on here.

On hot days, maybe the mercury climbs and we get more watts; on cold days, as the mercury drops, it’s not so bright. Maybe?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

We have some of those "last-forever" bulbs in our kitchen. And no, they don't. It's interesting, though, we hear such dire warnings about heavy metals - including mercury. Dispose of properly, right? Does anyone out there have any idea of how to properly dispose of a burned out fluorescent lightbulb? I sure don't.

April 20, 2009 11:29 AM  

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