"Billy Mays Here For ..." Whatever

Our out-of-country readers may not be familiar with tv pitchman Billy Mays. For that, thank the deity of your choice for deliverance from this train wreck which, like the real thing, you don’t want to watch happening but it has a certain eerie fascination.

So there is Billy, shouting at you as he hawks whatever product happens to be the latest in a long line of unusual products: “The spectacular window cleaner, one application lasts an entire decade!” Or: “Put this on your false teeth and never worry about stains for the rest of your life!” Or: “Wear these eyeglasses and watch those pre-cancerous tumors disappear overnight!”

In the olden days, you’d find him next to a horse and wagon, with his products spread out on a table, cane in hand as he tapped each one, tapped the table, pointed it at the audience. “Yes, SIR, this will cure whatever ails you. My own grandfather took this for a month and amazed the doctors when he never needed a hysterectomy. Step right up! See for yourselves! Grandma’s prostate cleared up in days!”

If you check his products on a search engine (Google, for instance), you’ll see they work perfectly well, but there are others on the market that work fine and at less cost. It’s the pitchman effect that keeps him working and sells these products.

And, to my mind, he’s worth the price of admission. I may be one of the few people who actually watch this guy, but he’s pretty good. I like him.