There Used To Be NAB Standards

Long Ago & Far Away, in the deep reaches of forests long forgotten, there used to be such a thing as the NAB code. This has nothing to do with the Morse Code, a computer code or the DaVinci Code. It was manual of standards that governed what radio and tv stations could advertise and/or program.

No “feminine products.” No “masculine products,” as well. Never was heard a discouraging word about products of latex designed to limit the race of humans.

Products to stick up your *** when it hurt like ****? Neither the product nor the definition was allowed to sully the airwaves. Speaking of sticking stuff up your ***, you couldn’t advertise pills for the other side where all the fun action took place.

Shameful.

I’m not sure when the break came; maybe it was when late-night programs began to advertise More Effective Beverages (ok, whiskey and its friends). You could always sell the stuff; it never was against FCC rules, just the NAB code. But sometime around then came Prep H, Condoms and Intimate Products beyond measure.

Things you would never hear mentioned at the ladies’ society of your local church. Things you would hear a customer ask the soda jerk, “Could I speak with the pharmacist, please?” And the lid was off.