Friday, January 11, 2008

Their Wedding Photo Is Beautiful

“A garden wedding and reception for 65 guests was held November 4 in Bradenton, Florida,” the marriage photo caption reads.

And it is a wonderful photo, indeed; the bride is in a pink, full-length gown with a pink veil which does not cover her face, while the groom is wearing a tuxedo with a purplish flower (I can’t tell exactly what it is) and exquisite cuffs.

“The bride and groom exchanged friendship charms.” (I’m not sure what they might be, but anything in Florida is fine with me. I’m not even sure who officiated, or if it was a civil ceremony; you never know with these things.)

“The bride is Bambi Balaska” (uh-oh, I think we’re in trouble here) “and the groom is Tavi O’Hara” (I think the Old Irish side of the family is going to wonder about this Tavi stuff).

“Dr. Edward O’Hara stood up for the bride and groom. Dr. and Mrs. O’Hara are former Scranton residents. Tavi and Bambi will honeymoon in Mount Cobb PA.”

These two, Tavi and Bambi, are dogs. Dogs. Canines. Pooches. You know, things that pant with their tongues out, drink from toilet bowls and jump all over you when you walk through the door. The freakin’ newspaper printed a color picture of two dogs getting married. Now they’re going to honeymoon over in the Poconos, where they will probably sniff the @ of every other dog they run into, as close to adultery as you will find.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

That marriage won't last long, the bride's a bitch.

'Sniff but don't lick''

Canine Marital Commandments

January 11, 2008 4:03 PM  
Blogger deb said...

Where do you find this stuff?

January 11, 2008 5:21 PM  
Blogger Tom Carten said...


In the newspaper, the Citizens' Voice. They publish a photo every day, submitted by readers, that's either beautiful or cute. I guess this was a "cute" photo.

Each to his or her own taste.

January 11, 2008 8:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Carten, you are the most perplexing aspect of my existence. Your blogspot is utter rubbish, yet I'm somehow drawn to it, kind of like Rodano's Pizza. I just can't figure it out.

January 12, 2008 5:52 PM  
Blogger Tom Carten said...

Well, lots of people say it's not rubbish, so perhaps your imagination stalled at an early age and you can't appreciate going off on tangents that aren't solid.

I haven't had Rodano's pizza in a while, but it was just sort of average when I did. Nothing to write home about, nothing to cross the street for.

January 12, 2008 8:04 PM  
Anonymous deb said...

I just love people who hide behind the word "anonymous"
Be a man or woman and use your name.

January 13, 2008 3:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Bride may be a B**** but the Groom is a DOG.

January 15, 2008 9:14 AM  

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