Sunday, September 16, 2007

No Wonder

According to the expansion theory of the universe (a.k.a.: the Big Bang), every bit of it began as an infinitely dense thing the size of an atom. Similar to the entire output of every loaf of Wonder Bread ever made. As we all know, any three-year-old can squish a loaf down to the size of a marble with no trouble at all; imagine what a garbage compactor could do.

Why did I choose Wonder Bread over, say, Silvercup? For one thing, I always thought of Silvercup as a New York City bread, big city stuff. But Howdy Doody told us about how good Wonder Bread was on his tv show and that’s all I needed.

Then, when I started working in the general store, I realized there was more to life. There was Pepperidge Farm Bread, thick and heavy, as was Arnold’s Bread. A little expensive, as well, but heavier and, apparently, better than plain white bread.

Since those days, I have turned away from white bread and rolls to the extent possible. Wheat, multi-grains, anything but plain white that’s had all the good stuff taken out of it (but later “enriched” to put some of it back in). Apparently, lots others have done the same, especially in Southern California, because there is a brand you can’t get there anymore.

Wonder Bread is no longer sold in SoCal; the market just isn’t there anymore; the company decided to pull the balloon-ended product from the shelves. I’ve heard that trends start in California and move east; remember you heard it here first.


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