Dear Mr. Expert (Part One)

Q: Are there any permanent economic principles?
A: When your outgo exceeds your income, your upkeep will be your downfall.

Q: Did you ever have dyslexia?
A: Yes, but thank better I’m goodness.

Q: If turkeys can’t fly, why do they have wings?
A: So they can crash gracefully.

Q: About premarital sex: I can’t see how our young people will risk a lifetime of shame for an hour of pleasure.
A: How do you make it last an hour?

Q: What was your biggest food disappointment?
A: I put French bread in the toaster and didn’t get French toast.

Q: Sometimes my computer tells me to hit “any key.” I don’t have an “any key” so what should I do?
A: The “any” key is between the “caps lock” and “enter.”

Q: Is there any defense against flaming in chat rooms?
A: Yes; just hit CTRL-F-U.