Restricting Your Freedom On Airplanes

Ok, folks; here is the latest list of what Big Person (I don’t want to offend the ladies by saying “Big Brother” and it sounds silly to say “Big Sister”) at the TSA arbitrarily forbids you to bring onto an airplane. It’s an update from a list we ran some time back but some of these, such as “Realistic Replicas of Explosives” might be new.

Let’s see: They don’t look kindly on your bringing dynamite in your carry-on, nor can you have hand grenades or plastic explosives in there. That makes a lot of sense; should the plane make a hard landing, you wouldn’t want to be the person responsible for it being on the 11:00 o’clock news around the world.

Meat cleavers are another item they’d prefer you leave at home, along with your favorite Louisville Slugger and ice picks. Coming back from the farm? Don’t bring the latest model cattle prod. Going to the city? UPS the stun gun and the brass knuckles; ship them some other way.

You can’t bring your favorite bow and arrow set as carry-on, but you can check it and hope someone’s 90-pound souvenir anvil isn’t sitting on top of it. Same goes for your ski poles. Since there are no sand traps or ponds in the aisle, you can stick your golf clubs in the freight bay.

Snow globes with, perhaps, a snowman or a little village in them, little innocent snow globes? Leave them home, because you can’t get on the plane with them.