Saturday, August 01, 2009

Let's See; Which One's The Wife?

I've been to plenty of wakes where the chief mourner isn't always the person to whom the Guest of Honor pledged to be faithful for life.

Went to one where the presumed wife was at the head of the casket, terribly upset. I mentioned that fact to someone in the family and he said, “That’s not his wife; she’s over there, partway down the room chatting with people. The woman you see is his mistress.”

Where were the children? Down near the entrance, hanging out with friends and chatting with visitors.

At another, this time a funeral, the Other Woman had the good sense, or something, to stay out of sight and way in the back of the church. She stayed there until everyone else had left and were safely in their cars for the trip to the cemetery.

The arrangement comes with a few built-in problems. You can’t be buried with your lover, just as one example. I’ve never seen a cemetery plot with a stone engraved “James Jones, Mary Jones, Jezebel VaVoom.” Your second-choice best beloved can forget about any legal benefits, as well; the law doesn’t recognize Ms. VaVoom.

For some reason, you seldom (if ever) hear about the Other Man. If I have heard, then no examples pop into my mind right at the moment. If anybody has examples, let me know in the comments section. Thanks.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gee, that reminds me of a funeral many years ago where all the family and friends were chatting out in the backyard after the burial service and the principal mourners..get this...three of 'em...were on the beach down the street. Two were beachwalking and the third was bluefishing.

We had guy at the shipyard who comitted suicide and the running joke was, because he was so disliked, that he remained in the morgue for three weeks because nobody wanted to claim the body and finally someone did and he then was exposed on the pool table at the local watering hole

Exit 318

August 04, 2009 6:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jez a belle va voom? You're getting to be quite the sexists-it takes two to tango, yet til this day its a mans world!

August 04, 2009 9:55 AM  
Blogger Tom Carten said...

That's why I asked for people to talk about The Other Man. Got any examples for me? The forum is open.

August 04, 2009 10:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The term "He's a Dog" comes to mind as does gigolo,Man w---- just to name a few

August 04, 2009 4:10 PM  
Blogger Tom Carten said...

Louis Prima recorded, "I'm Just A Gigolo," and he sure was: he would do any gal who came within reach.

August 04, 2009 4:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Had one up here, guy's wife choked to death on a peanut butter sandwich. The guy brought his girlfriend along to the wake and the funeral and the lunch after the burial service. She moved in with him the same day.

''Hey, honey, you wear a size 14, right? My wife's closet is full of14's,,feel free.''

My take:

You marry by lack of intelligence.
You divorce by lack of patience
and...
You re-marry by lack of memory.

Exit 318

August 05, 2009 5:56 AM  

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