So, How Smart Are Cats?

Someone asked that question of a newspaper columnist. Specifically, more like, “What’s a cat’s IQ?” Since there are no records of a cat actually taking the test, we’ll never know. The info guy said the test is biased in favor of humans anyway, so your local neighborhood cat would probably test out at a zero. Not only that, but it might also shred the paper and bat the pencil around until it was nap time.

He did feel cats have the intelligence of a human two-year-old. That’s not bad at all, when you consider what kids that age are capable of. Especially your precious bundle of DNA and chromosomes, faithfully combined one passionate, beer-filled, backseat night you don’t remember six months before your shotgun marriage.

Yes, kitty has all the smarts of Little Darling Leroy. It’s just that they are different smarts. Leroy can’t catch a bird to save his life, nor can he lay in wait without making a sound – things a cat must be able to do in the wild. From near-birth, kitty knows what a litter box is for; Leroy just pisses and poops wherever. When it’s time for a nap, a cat will willingly curl up; Little Leroy will fuss and cry.

Just because no cat ever wrote an encyclopedia or went to school doesn’t mean they haven’t the brains to get along. One cat, without as much as a suitcase, can survive without benefit of a residence; we can’t take a cruise unless we pack half the house.

Cats don’t kill each other over religious beliefs.