Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Mad Dog Tree

We have this tree which appears to have a lean greater than the Tower of Pisa. It starts fairly well at ground level, but quickly starts heading toward the street. By the time your friendly neighborhood squirrel gets to the top, he is halfway across North Franklin Street and we hope the added stress doesn’t cause the tree to fall.

One of these days, we will have a storm with sustained high winds and a tree horizontal on the asphalt. We will most likely find that it is fairly hollow inside and looking forward to giving it up.

Two days ago, I noticed it seemed to be frothing at the mouth, if you consider frothing stuff coming out of a large hole way up on top. There are bees in there, a good many of them, and even a beekeeper could not locate the queen bee so they would all come out and not other any of the locals who, as it turns out, are allergic to bee stings.

What I thought was sap, but looks like a mad dog with a trunk and branches, is some sort of foam designed to take up the holes inside the tree and force the bees to find another home.

There are great globs of it on the street, not unlike magma that has spilled out from a volcano. Great off-white globs, as if some gigantic bird dropped piles of poop onto the street. The tree has turned into a tall glop dispenser in the world’s largest ice cream stand, needing only chocolate sauce and a cherry on top.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

#1.........Bees? What kind of honey do you produce in W-B? Golden Anthracite mebbe? LOL..just funnin'.

#2.......Looks like you have a choice, let Nature do her job and collect the insurance or pay a professional to take the tree out and the fee might be equal to a 40-yr. mortgage

#3...Saw your brother, covered with blueberry juice and sawdust. He sends his best. Said that he'll give you a ring tomorrow

August 28, 2008 6:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, Tom. Here's the perfect blog for you. How in God's name does one get covered with blueberry juice and sawdust? It must be a Canadian thing, eh?

August 29, 2008 10:46 AM  
Blogger Tom Carten said...

I've been sitting here trying to imagine it. All sorts of pictures come to mind, a few R-rated, even one X-rated.

Let your imagination take you where it might.

August 29, 2008 12:36 PM  

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