The Stages Of Life

I got to thinking about the guys’ stages of life. The real ones, not what you study in books.

Babies: “Isn’t he cute? He’s got Mommy’s nose, Daddy’s smile, and he’s holding Grandpa’s teeth.”

Ten: “I’d like to get my hands on whoever gave him that little tool kit. Once he got a hammer, he’s found a lot of things that need pounding."

Teenager: “He’s a fine young lad, and someday he’ll take over the family business, whether he wants to or not.”

Twenties: “Oh, he’s so handsome! Girls are fainting and old ladies are thinking back to when their husbands looked like that.”

Sixties: “My, what a distinguished gentleman.” (Meaning: He’s still got it and he could still get it, but brown has turned to gray and desire has turned to wisdom.)

Eighties: “Doesn’t he look wonderful?” That is, he can still walk with assistance, he managed to recognize a few relatives and it’s time for his nap.

Nineties: “Better bring another blanket; it’s only 80 in here. No, grandpa, I didn’t say ‘sank it, we need a beer.”