It's Hotter Than Your Concept Of Hell

It’s in the high 90’s right now. If you prefer Celsius, it’s in the high 30’s. Either way, it’s egg-frying on the sidewalk weather but, fortunately, not hotter than hell; that remains the ultimate in temperatures, we are told. I have my doubts as to exactly how hell is made up and really wonder if heat is a component, but I’m not anxious for personal experience.

We are made to exist sans clothes in a range of about 75 to 90-some degrees. Anything lower and it gets uncomfortable to teeth-chattering; hotter, and we start dripping. It’s a narrow range, made a bit wider on the low side by whatever sorts of clothing we can find in the closet. (That’s why there are no nude beaches in the Arctic.)

We can adjust, of course; right now the air conditioning is on in my room. It’s not blasting, but it’s there. In the winter, the heat does not blast; it’s just enough.

I still wonder about the temps in hell. Is it really a place where we burn? Lots of people who have had what they consider to be religious experiences have told us exactly what goes on there. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t; I have a hard time believing all that stuff and, lacking a seat on the hellbound bus, don’t want to know.

“If a spark from hell landed on a frozen lake, it would immediately vaporize”; “souls are stacked like cordwood, burning forever”; “each cell in your body is on fire.” And so on. Seems a little harsh for a blow job or missing Mass on Sunday. Or a combination of the two. Maybe God takes us to the woodshed for a long time until we get the point.