Monday, March 23, 2009

Take This Memo And Shove It

You’re important: You issue memorandums “eyes only,” and “shred after reading.” You’re very important: Your letters to the staff are “Do not file; do not copy.” At the end of the day, you feel very satisfied with yourself. You have written some very sensitive documents, perhaps equally worthless, which must take the ultimate power trip to the shredder.

You sit back, unaware that the truck outside, which is re-shredding what has already gone through your own office machines, is eventually going to deposit its product up everyone’s ***.

As your office machine chops up the vital, secret, eyes-only pieces of **** (just to keep it in the same ballpark), it goes outside to the ShredDoc truck, which chops it into even finer pieces.

Then to the finer chop shops, then the companies who bleach and bleach those most important words into oblivion.

After that, the ultimate degradation: The last ride, the trip to nearby Ransom, home of P&G’s big paper-products factory. This load (again, keeping the image), ends up in the toilet-paper building.

“For your eyes only” now becomes “For your *** only.”


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tom, that's called modern technology. I mean, you ca nactually be using SPAM you know....there is a tongue-in-cheek connection in here someplace......CJV

March 24, 2009 6:20 AM  

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