Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Honk If You Love North

One of the better bumper stickers I saw was in a cartoon. A bird hunter was sitting, rather despondent, on a box next to his car; the sticker said, “Honk If You Love Jesus,” just as a flock of geese was flying by.

We’re not doing that here. Whatever my feelings about Jesus (definitely positive), I’m not into making a lot of noise and disturbing people just to let them know. Apparently, based on that qualification, there must be an awful lot of Christians in a traffic jam.

Maybe my lack of horn-blowing, even out on the open highway, indicates a lack of love. After all, I’m one of those people who don’t send on the, “If you love Jesus, forward this message; if you don’t, then delete it.” Sorry, Divine One, I’ll take my chances.

Anyway, a large group of honkers (no, not that kind, you perverts) was heading north the other day. Several groups, from what I could hear. It was fairly late at night and they were squawking like you’d hear drunks at a party.

It’s to keep them together, I am told. Well, there are quieter ways: You’ve seen day-care kids out for a walk with little coiled lanyards from one to another. Catch a bunch of geese as they are headed north, stick these on their feet and tell them to shut up. They can be pretty loud over the outlying areas around here.

“Are we there yet?” “No.” “Are we there yet?” “No.” “Are…” “Shut up.”


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, He came by here and finally realized what a great job he had done but then Marie-Madeleine told him to make it perfect that he'd need some ol' down home BBQ, so he sent Curtis up to Putney, Vt and set one up. Then Marie told him about brisket from Texas, but he told her that brisket is so special to Texas that it should be left there lest someone in Connecticut dilute it down somehow. Marie mentioned NASCAR, so He went to see the mayor of Loudon, and poof! A mile long track.

IMHO, He did a pretty good job.

To bad that the rich 'n famous of the southern N.E. states and N.J. retired to Vermont, bought up three acres, got two horses and six months later they wanted to be mayor..

Hey Maddie, did you know about that? You'd better git off your sit-down and tell Him about it.


March 20, 2009 2:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

But then he went north of the border to Québec, and had Marie-Madeleine Fedexed up there and said to her (in French, but I'll translate)''You think I did a good job down there? You ain't seen nothin, yet.....see those blueberries? Well they are so big up here that folks need only four or five to make a pie. The green ones they put on the window sill to ripen up. See those Acadians over there? They were the ones who showed Louisiana how to live right. Those maples out there? These people sell their syrup to Vermont. Even the crawfish traveled from Nova Scotia to Louisiana,they left here as lobsters too''.

Marie was quite astounded and shyly replied, 'You da MAN!''

So impressed was she that she settled out in the Gulf of St. Lawrence on islands now called The Magdelaines. She told Jesus that it sure was a great change from Bridgeport, Ct.

You are da MAN!


March 20, 2009 3:18 PM  

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