$600 Ride For One Mile

I needed a lift up River Street, about a mile or so. Normally, I could walk or drive but this time they wanted me to take a $553 ride. Well, $545 for the ride and $8.00 for mileage. (You’d think they’d toss in the first mile for free.)

What did I get for half a grand? Lights, siren, people pulling over to the side of the road. Well, I don’t remember lights and siren and I don’t think anyone pulled over; it was more of a transport to General Hospital for someone who had a mild (to me) but scary (to those around me) seizure.

If they had shown up half an hour later, I’d be coherent, sipping on a hot, steaming mug of tea, discussing the finer points of philosophy and whether the Cubs would win the Series. They are, after all, tied for first place the day before the season begins.

All of us “E’s” dread being put into the back of an ambulance. By the time we get to the hospital, the episode is over and we have to find our way home. The hospital people, on their part, are convinced I’m going to fly out of bed and start bouncing off the walls, so they bring in some padding for the sides of what now becomes my cage.

“I don’t need these,” I say. “Policy,” they reply. “Put ‘policy’ over there in the corner, thanks,” I politely say, with a slight bit of sarcasm dripping off the end of my voice.

Sunday pm to Wednesday am; yes, nurse, I am used to having seizures.