Thursday, December 18, 2008

Parents Gone Wild

“Girls Gone Wild” is taken, as you will note by ads for the videos on late-night Comedy Central shows.

But parents go wild, as well; especially when it comes from increasing, multiplying and filling the earth. They should have used protection – that is, someone to protect their children from the names given them.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie chose to name theirs Maddox, Zahara, Pax and Shiloh. Musician Jonathan Davis hit a bad note when he laid “Pirate” on his son. Magician Penn Jillette stupidly burdened his daughter “Moxie Crimefighter” (and we hope it’s as much of a joke as his act’s patter). Musician Bob Geldof has four daughters: Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, Pixie and Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily.

We are in for, well, different names these days, reports (the online part of Parents Magazine). “Riley” is in 15th place for boys, 16th for girls. The popular singer, Aaliyah, who died in an airplane crash seven years ago, lives on in a name which is in 28th place. The borough of Brooklyn, home of the Dodgers, the Bridge, a major Jewish community and “Saturday Night Fever,” is the 41st most popular name for girls. There is no indication of anyone taking Manhattan, the Bronx and Staten Island, too.

Boys? Aiden, Jayden and Caden are in the top six and, perhaps, might make a good law firm someday. All the better to sue the girls’ parents.


Blogger D.B. Echo said...

How about Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow, and Piper? What kind of nut names her kids like that? (Considering the guy who knocked up Bristol is named "Levi," maybe she was just trying to keep her kids from sticking out too much.)

Then there are these candidates for parents of the century:

"Adolf Hitler Campbell -- it's indeed the name on his birth certificate -- turns 3 today, and the Campbell family believes the boy has been mistreated. A local supermarket refused to make a birthday cake with "Adolf Hitler" on it.

"The ShopRite in Greenwich Township has also refused to make a cake bearing the name of Campbell's daughter, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, who turns 2 in February.

"Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, a girl named for Schutzstaffel head Heinrich Himmler, turns 1 in April.

"...The Campbells said they wanted their children to have unique names and didn't expect the names to cause problems."

December 19, 2008 12:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's see here. Frank Zappa didn't do too bad. B.B. King's first name is Riley. Muddy Waters name was McKinley Morganfield and up here in Québec during a period in the 19th early 20th century it seemed to be trendy to have the weirdest names:

Marie-Procule, Marie-Abondance (No she did NOT model for Wonderbra), Marie-Agricole (luckily she died young), Huguette's line had Ombéline Asselin. I have also found a lady whose first name was Montezuma, Huguette's aunt is Immaculée. But then daughter is a teacher in Portsmouth, Va. and she jokingly said that some names are so weird that it takes the kids until 8th grade to learn how spell it right.

Exit 318

December 19, 2008 1:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Exit........Johnny Cash's name was Sue!


December 19, 2008 1:30 PM  
Anonymous ruthc said... daughter is a teacher in Portsmouth, Va. and she jokingly said that some names are so weird that it takes the kids until 8th grade to learn how spell it right.

Or that are just plain weird regardless of spelling?
Like the twins I knew of---Lime & Lemon. Or the poor girl with the name pronounced "Gun OH ree ah", (but spelled in a conventional fashion).

December 20, 2008 10:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good Lawd and a quarter Ruth, you might say that those twins began their life on a sour note! LOL.

(Sorry couldn't pass that one up).

And returning to my daughter's ''situation'', where a surprisingly high percentage of her classes are made up of students from broken homes living with grandparents, living with older brothers ans sisters and in one case, two half brothers inthe same classroom!

Now, many of these kids are victims of parents on drugs, whose brains are fried a tad. Maybe ''cool'' is having a weird name too, I cite the Dallas Cowbys running back, Star Choice.

Sumpin' stinks out there.

Anyway I can tell you one thing, I'm really glad that my parents baptized me CJV (They never did tell me what those letters meant)instead of some one of a kind
screwed up name.

Hey D.B. Echo..

Hope that kid named Track is not a skier! Someone would call out his name on a slope and everyone would move aside.

Tom, didn't you know a kid named Bunny?


December 21, 2008 6:26 AM  
Blogger Tom Carten said...

Bunny. Sure did; he was a little light in the loafers, as I recall. And that was his "old enough to be in college" family name. I delivered their newspapers and realized that money doesn't buy good sense.

I never knew his real name.

December 21, 2008 11:34 AM  
Blogger D.B. Echo said...

I worked with a guy who called himself "Wick." We all assumed it was short for Warwick. Turned out it was short for Wickwire.

December 22, 2008 10:40 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home