Sunday, December 28, 2008

Going Gently To The Home

A friend of mine had to be put away recently. In a way, a sad way to live out your days, pretty much locked up in a nursing home; but she’s safe and will be taken care of.

Her husband passed away eighteen months ago and she never recovered from it. She wanted to dig him up and get him a decent meal so he would look better. He shows up at night in the garage. If she could get him some clothes and get him walking around, he would be fine. “My relatives think I’m nuts, but I’m not.”

The laws which protect people also do them great harm. You can’t be taken to a place of safety against your will until you have done something that may have already brought harm. Friends who have the knowledge, and are present, cannot overrule relatives who are alienated but suddenly want to make the decisions.

It’s odd who comes out of the woodwork when property will be going up for sale, when bank accounts will be examined, investments pored over. In one original plan, never put into action, I was supposed to be Executor of the estate, having done this before. It would have been interesting, in this case, to make sure the intentions of the deceased were carried out. The deceased, and not the beneficiaries or relatives.

So they put her away. She recognizes people occasionally and may know what season, what year it is. Perhaps not. Maybe her husband comes out of the cemetery at night to walk up to the nursing home and see how she is doing.


Anonymous ruthc said...

I'm so sorry to read this; I often wonder how she is doing, and now I know. So sad.

I hope she is comfortable there, and that whatever funds she does have are used to her benefit.

December 29, 2008 10:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

life can be so cruel

December 29, 2008 5:52 PM  

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