Santa, Cleared 3,000, Heading 1-2-0 On Final
Some noise is being made south of us about a proposed cargo airport. It’s about the potential noise. The airplane people are for it, the homeowners are against it, and nobody is surprised how the sides line up.
East Union Township supervisors, where the winged monsters will land (actually, a controlled collision with a planet) and take off, have drafted an ordinance prohibits such activity. They use words like “ascent, descent, ingress, egress and regress.” The only thing missing is “crash and burn.”
They exempt Santa and the Easter bunny. But, the fat guy in the red suit and Mr. Floppy Ears must obtain a permit ten days in advance. No joke.
“At least ten days prior to the scheduled arrival or departure of [these or other mythical persons or animals of established folklore], those responsible therefore or in custody of said mythical persons or animals shall apply to the board for a written permit.”
“It’s not a joke,” the board chairman said (see paragraph 3, above). Someone might want to fly them in on helicopters. So, this way, the township can cover all bases.
Generally, whoever is in the hot bunny suit, wearing a skimmer and holding a cane (hardly any resemblance to the rabbit as an ancient symbol of Christ coming out of the tomb in the spring) walks. Only Santa flies in his sleigh. Cleared for landing.
East Union Township supervisors, where the winged monsters will land (actually, a controlled collision with a planet) and take off, have drafted an ordinance prohibits such activity. They use words like “ascent, descent, ingress, egress and regress.” The only thing missing is “crash and burn.”
They exempt Santa and the Easter bunny. But, the fat guy in the red suit and Mr. Floppy Ears must obtain a permit ten days in advance. No joke.
“At least ten days prior to the scheduled arrival or departure of [these or other mythical persons or animals of established folklore], those responsible therefore or in custody of said mythical persons or animals shall apply to the board for a written permit.”
“It’s not a joke,” the board chairman said (see paragraph 3, above). Someone might want to fly them in on helicopters. So, this way, the township can cover all bases.
Generally, whoever is in the hot bunny suit, wearing a skimmer and holding a cane (hardly any resemblance to the rabbit as an ancient symbol of Christ coming out of the tomb in the spring) walks. Only Santa flies in his sleigh. Cleared for landing.
posted by Tom Carten at 3:23 PM
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