Sunday, September 23, 2007

Happy, Happy, Oh So Happy

Ever see those signs that inform you if the clerks are busy, stick around and they will be more than happy to help you when they are free. “More than happy.” I sometimes wonder just how much that can be: you are happy, happier and happiest. Beyond that lies … ecstasy? I should ask. “Sir, Ma’am, are you more than happy at this moment? Are you experiencing an indescribable form of bliss? Or am I just another customer to take care of?”

The Travel Channel has some sort of vacation house-hunting program and I happened to catch it the other day. This little chalet, which comes in at $799,995, has (so the agent pointed out) a very unique fireplace. It better be very unique for a fiver less than $800k.

Unique: One of a kind. Very Unique: Really one of a kind. The former: You aren’t going to find this anywhere else. The latter: You really aren’t going to find this anywhere else. I’m surprised I haven’t heard “Extremely Unique” yet, but I’m sure it’s out there somewhere. “This one-of-a-kind object is merely unique; this other one is very unique, while that one over there is extremely unique. Let's not even talk about the next room.”

Are there any models left? All we hear about are supermodels, but I never know exactly what they model. There used to be stars of the Broadway stage, the Hollywood screen; now all you hear about are superstars. Mary Martin was a star, but I haven’t seen any superstars match her. How many films can be “the movie of the year … perhaps of your life”? I am the movie of my life and the script hasn’t been finished yet.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do they wind this guy up every night and then let him go just to see what he'll spout next or does he come premade with all this irrelevant material stocked within

September 27, 2007 12:40 PM  
Blogger Tom Carten said...

I'm never sure on that one.

September 28, 2007 12:51 PM  

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