Monday, July 02, 2007

Strange Businesses In The Phone Book

There are just amazing categories of jobs listed in the Yellow Pages, which nobody ever catches.

Have you ever heard of an Irrigation Janitor or Plumbing Police? How would you like to wear a pair of Steel Stockings or eat Rubbish Sandwiches? There are Golfing Grocers and Vertical Veterinarians in there, as well.

Just check the page headings in the back of the phone book. They change with every issue.

You can take a Burglar Bus with your Personal Pest and a Disabled Dog to a Waterproof Wedding.

Chiropractors Churches might have Religious Rentals. You might want to try Physicians Pies, Florists Food, Bagels Bands or a Moving Mushroom.

There are Automobile Bakers, in case you have a big pastry dish; how about Coal Computers, in just one color: black? Nobody will be able to steal your Cement Checkwriter, and the kids will love your Candy Carpet.

As for Gardeners Gas, let’s just say it’s good they’re outside.


Anonymous ruthc said...

It's been three days that I've been thinking about it and I still can't figure out how to bake an automobile.
'suppose they'd share the recipe?

July 05, 2007 9:36 PM  
Anonymous ColdJoshVail said...


First you buy their ''Automobile Stove''. You can probably get cheaper model at Auto Zone,but it does not come with a lift.

The second step is to find a place in which to install the stove because most stoves I've seen are ''Indoors Only'', versus the Oklahoma style 4-Cyl. BBQ which is usually set up on cement blocks in front of the trailer.

To find customers, well, with all the taxes you've paid for the car, oven, oven garage and electricity used to cook it etc., the IRS will eat it up all by itself.

July 07, 2007 7:16 AM  

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