Friday, April 28, 2006

It's Interesting...

I don't know why. It's just interesting.

-- Birds travel great distances without suitcases, passports, maps and bags full of things that are absolutely necessary. And they do this without complaining.

-- The average tune-in time for an all-music station is 57 minutes; the average for an all-news station is 56 minutes.

-- People don't mind if we are talking to someone next to us, but they seem to mind if that person is on the other end of our cell phone.

-- Automobile speedometers exceed the general speed limit by 65 mph and any known limit by at least 50 mph.

-- News broadcasters tell us about "senseless tragedies," but never report "sensible tragedies."

-- Supermarket owners complain about how incredibly small their profit margins are, yet they continue to build more and more stores.

-- Each religion has definite "going to Hell" sins, but they aren't uniform across all faiths; are Muslim extremist killers in Heaven, while Catholic Lenten Friday meat-eaters burning in Hell?

-- A combination of hydrogen and oxygen powered, ripped open and sank the Titanic; all this was due to relatively minor changes in temperature.

-- You are either happy or sad, depending on whether it's the city or a cop giving you a citation.


Everybody has a story:
This one happened right here in Wilkes-Barre some time back. A man lost his wife but could not afford a proper funeral. The undertaker, a decent sort of guy, cut him a good break, but the man still owed $1000. As the cortege made its way to the cemetery, the bereaved husband glanced at the hearse's license plate and played the number. He won the $1000 he needed. (I, myself, read this story in the newspaper, so I know it's true.)

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

A man lost his wife...
I've often wondered about the use of this euphemism. Why can't people say "die" (in whatever form is correct)?
I've "lost" my sunglasses. Even "lost" a glove or two over the years. To say you "lost" a spouse doesn't even begin to cover it.
Do people think that by saying "lost" to the bereaved somehow it doesn't hurt as much?

April 28, 2006 3:56 PM  
Blogger Tom Carten said...

I used "the man lost his wife" because the emphasis in this piece was on the man. To start with "his wife died" would be to put it on his wife, but the story isn't going that way.

I agree; people die or, in my feelings on faith, pass on (to a new and better life). But that's me.

April 28, 2006 4:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please don't think I was finding fault with your phrasing; I understood. I was simply taking the idea a bit further.
But since I'm here---"pass on" and "passed" are other euphemisims that bother me.
And don't even get me started on "expired"! Makes it sound like a credit card!

April 28, 2006 5:53 PM  
Blogger Tom Carten said...

I like "passed on," because to me it means the person has gone on to the next stage of life. Only the body has died and I don't consider that to be the real person. We buried my parents' bodies, but they continued on somewhere else. Non-smoking section, I am sure.

Expired? I was doing a membership drive for the local public radio station and said, "Don't let your membership expire before you do." Thought that was pretty clever.

April 28, 2006 6:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

...one's status in life as a widower or widow...
Now there's another term that seems to have lost favor: "widow/widower", I mean.
I long ago reached that stage in life when I read the obituaries. In years past they were written that so-and-so was the "widow of ...". Now they are invariably written "...the wife of the late ...". Huh? If he died she's no longer a "wife"; she's a widow. Big, big difference. I prefer to use the word that---as cold josh says---"describes" it.

April 29, 2006 11:05 AM  
Blogger Tom Carten said...

Ah yes, the wife of the late so-and-so. How late?

* * *

Well, not too late. "Lately of this life," or "Lately of this planet"; I'm not sure which. It should not be used very long after the departed has departed. You wouldn't say, "The late Harry Truman," in my opinion.

- - - - -

Arrived at my son's place in my pre-owned imported Japanese 4x4 truck.

* * *

Maybe, maybe not; check the VIN plate inside your windshield. If it begins with 1, 4, or 5 then it was built south of the border in the States; if with a 3, then in sunny Mehico; it with a 2, then right home in Canada. Vehicles with a "J" were built in Japan and are, as we say, "rice burners."

April 29, 2006 10:13 PM  

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