The Godfather's Wife

It’s really the 21st as I try to catch up. My cruise ship newsletter mentioned last night that the new Disney ship was christened the day before. Normally, the “godmother” knocks a bottle of champagne across the bow. These days, all she does is push a button and the thing flies across the dock; bottle meets ship and ship wins.

Not so Disney. This time, they hired a helicopter to swing the thing as it flew over the previously-unnamed Mouse of the Seas (actually the “Disney Dream” and, being in the water, no doubt a wet one). The menu consisted of Donald Duck a l’orange, Hot Goofy Dogs, a view of Pluto through the telescope and White Snow with brandy for dessert. Mice work if you can get it.

The newsletter did not mention if Godmother Jennifer Hudson was in the ‘copter releasing the aforementioned bubbly in the size worthy of a Disney extrav. You pays your money and you gots your choice, all named for Biblical figures small to large: Jeroboam, Rehoboam, Methuselah, Salmanazar, Balthazar and, just before you realize you need A.A., the Nebuchadnezzar at 120 glasses.

In my religion, the Godmother raises the kids in their tradition, but whose? Mr. and Mrs. Walt are gone but what church did they attend? Mickey and Minnie? They weren’t even married – Shame! Jennifer was a crew member on the Wonder in 2003 so maybe she should be a God-mother-aunt. Or a surrogate something-in-law. A Godfather would have been easier: Drop the bottle and have him shoot it when it reaches the deck.