Overheard In New York
Guy to girl: All I know about your baby is that as long as it's in your stomach, it's not gonna be underfed. I wouldn't be surprised if it came out with a chicken wing in its mouth.
Gentleman on train: You know why they invented daylight savings, don't you? It's because of Halloween, a lot of congressmen wanted kids to have an extra hour to go trick or treating. That's why we have daylight savings.
Black man, waving around CDs: Excuse me, miss, would you like to buy one of my CDs?
Asian girl with boyfriend: Sorry! I'm broke!
Black man: I'm allergic to broke people. Have a good day.
20-something dude: I don't get why a tourist would spend their whole day trying to spot an actor. I could see myself going to some real hot actresses' usual spots.
Man: You mean like stalking? I'm a cop.
Dude: Don't worry, officer, I only intend on stalking Natalie Portman.
Cop: You wanna go for a ride?
Dude: Like around in your car?
Cop: To the station.
Dude: I'll shut up.
Cop: Thatta boy.