Tuesday, May 04, 2010

The End Of The World Is Near (Or Far)

I’ve probably missed some of the crazies on religious television; they are the bunch I avoid watching and ask people not to convince me of their teachings.

But I might peek inside the tent to see what they’re making of all these earthquakes, the big volcano and the chances they see of Jesus coming across the sky on a big white horse, his hand holding a huge banner proclaiming “Halleluia! I have come!” People have been saying this for 2,000 years, but they didn’t have tv to spread their junk.

We have our share of volcanoes, and I saw one in the Caribbean when I was down there a few years ago. I didn’t see it go off, with smoke and rocks being thrown into the air, but it was still smoldering; good enough. Earthquakes are very common and go to the NEIC website to see where they are happening on pretty much a daily basis.

But as religious as I am, I don’t think He Who Is will be appearing at a mall near you anytime soon. There’s a preacher in a rural area near here who says Jesus will come down from heaven at his camp (sites still available; call now), but I don’t think the Lord of Heaven & Earth could find it with a GPS unit.

We’ll probably get nailed by an asteroid. Maybe the Large Hadron Collider will make that Black Hole they aren’t worried about (“Oh, it’s too small a chance.”) and swallow us up into nothingness. Perhaps the flying saucers I don’t believe in will really blast us into the middle of next week. Or 2012 is real…….


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