Friday, September 25, 2009

Reading The Advice Columns

Duh. Same stuff over and over: Husband beats me but I love him to death (maybe literally) … daughter is marrying an idiot … I can’t stand my parents … neighbors … my boss, co-workers, harassment … and so on. It’s just a matter of SSDD. Let’s call it “Same Stuff, Different Day.” Or “Same ****, Different Day.”

People do need advice, but maybe some of them need to be hit upside the head. If they read the advice columns, they should be able to see themselves in others’ problems.

I sometimes wonder how many people need to be beaten by their husbands (who most likely are banging like rabbits around town) before they realize they’ve read about this in Dear Abby. Does it ever occur to them that maybe they are in the same situation and need to get out of it? Or will they write the next letter?

Every time I see one start with, “I have the most wonderful, caring, loving husband and/or wife, blah blah,” I wonder what’s coming next. Usually it’s something rather small and manageable: Mr. Sent By God doesn’t put the seat down; Mrs. SBG drives too slowly; we’re thinking of getting a divorce over this.

I’d rather see an advice column that lays it on the line. “Look, honey, you didn’t marry Jesus Christ; your hubby seems like a great guy, so get over it.” “Gal, shoot your controlling husband; you’ll get 15 years in the slammer, but when you get out, he’ll still be dead. Try again and marry rich.”