We're Not As Crooked As Them

We have two openings for judges after a couple of them ended up in the slammer for some pretty awful judgements against unrepresented juveniles. Guess what all their platforms are: “We are not crooks” ... “You can trust us,” ... "The bad days are over.”

One hopeful’s signs say, “For the people.” I certainly hope so; if he’s against the people, we’re in big trouble. He wants to replace someone who was for the children and received millions in kickbacks for tossing as many as he could into the juvie prison his friends owned. Crimes? Shoving someone in school would do.

Another wannabe had a well-known and equally beloved mother in the Courthouse. His campaign has been low-pressure, but the first tv ad went on about Mom and her qualities, making us wonder if they dug her up and got her name on the ballot.

Then there is the woman who bears a striking resemblance to Sarah Palin. There she is, on her billboards, Sarah glasses and all, same cheerfully-clueless smile on her face.

Another fellow has the same name as a leading crime family. He’s probably related, as several Mafia dons live around here. The Gambino family, the suspected (alleged) DeNaples operation, the Buffalino gang and another, whose name I forget.

Seventeen people want those two spots. Vote for me.