The Sneeze Didn't Quite Happen
You’re all set for a good, healthy sneeze. Like the shot, it will be one heard ‘round the world. The kind that propels your body backward a few inches.
You open your mouth on the air intake, feel your nose tingle and … nothing happens. A misfire, a dud, mission aborted. You were all set for the nasal orgasm of the day and someone punctured the balloon; the air pump stopped working.
The intellicast.com weather map showed thunderstorms all around us, to the north and south; it showed thunderstorms in a line heading right toward us. It was the Big Sneeze about to happen.
The skies darkened, the rain started to come, the wind picked up, you could see lightning on the horizon. Mother Nature took a deep, quick intake ready to sneeze it all out … and it all fizzled. Stuff went north, went south, fell apart, failed to mesh.
The looked-for mighty thunderstorm, the air-clearing, humidity-dropping, crop-watering Mother, Father, Sister and Brother of all storms just didn’t work out. Oh, sure; it rained all right. There was some lightning on the horizon. Biiiiig deal. I wanted a light show, I wanted kettledrums of audio, radios filled with static.
What did I get for all this anticipation? An erectile dysfunction of a storm that couldn’t keep it up.
You open your mouth on the air intake, feel your nose tingle and … nothing happens. A misfire, a dud, mission aborted. You were all set for the nasal orgasm of the day and someone punctured the balloon; the air pump stopped working.
The intellicast.com weather map showed thunderstorms all around us, to the north and south; it showed thunderstorms in a line heading right toward us. It was the Big Sneeze about to happen.
The skies darkened, the rain started to come, the wind picked up, you could see lightning on the horizon. Mother Nature took a deep, quick intake ready to sneeze it all out … and it all fizzled. Stuff went north, went south, fell apart, failed to mesh.
The looked-for mighty thunderstorm, the air-clearing, humidity-dropping, crop-watering Mother, Father, Sister and Brother of all storms just didn’t work out. Oh, sure; it rained all right. There was some lightning on the horizon. Biiiiig deal. I wanted a light show, I wanted kettledrums of audio, radios filled with static.
What did I get for all this anticipation? An erectile dysfunction of a storm that couldn’t keep it up.
posted by Tom Carten at 11:19 PM
1 Comments:
It's like I told the nurse after my knee operation when she asked about constipation..
''It's akin to a thunder storm on the horizon......plenty of thunder, but no rain.''
Exit 318
Post a Comment
<< Home