Have I Emitted Anything?

We have a wonderful public service announcement that plays on my program occasionally. It’s the “Don’t Pass Gas” spot from the folks who encourage smokers to do it outside. It starts off with people talking just like someone has cut a fart, but it’s actually about the gasses in second-hand smoke.

I was shaking hands with a woman in church the other day and accidentally pulled her finger. “Uh-oh,” I thought, “did she deliberately do that? If so, who gets the blame?”

Anyway, I got my car inspected on February 28, coincidentally the last day I was road legal. Since most of my driving is at night, I probably could get away with it, but there’s no sense in getting nailed during a daylight run to the mall.

Which brings us to the emissions thing. While I understand that we expel gas, personally, about 14 times a day (I guess that’s one way or another), PennDOT does not worry about that; it’s what our car does that falls under their domain.

Once again, since I’ve had this ’98 Cavalier, I’ve been exempted due to having driven less than 5,000 miles during the year. I know athletes who have run farther than that in the course of 12 months, but at least they don’t have to get inspected.

If I did, I’d probably go out on the interstate for a few exits and blow the carbon out of the system and then bring it in. Better that way.