Whatever Happened To Rooster Pills?

A lady on tv was happily and excitedly proclaiming the benefits of some “male enhancement” pill. It’s good for “a certain part of the male anatomy,” she says.

I wonder which one? The part that’s supposed to remember anniversaries? Nah; there’s no pill powerful enough to help guys with that. Maybe it’s the mushy part that women like, the soft words and stuff like that. Another zero; they don’t make anything that will fix that.

Oh, I know! It’s the guy’s, uh, thing. This pill will make it longer and thicker. It will make you feel more like a MAN. It will make your significant other (used to be you could say “wife,” but those days are long gone) know exactly where you are, with not a doubt in her mind. Or in her anywhere else, for that matter.

The Old Farmer’s Almanac used to have ads for Rooster Pills. As Parlance Publishing said, in an interview with an old Cajun lady, “She told me about an elderly gentleman who came to her every week for his ‘rooster pills.’ Today he would probably get Viagra, but back then, the rooster pills apparently worked.”

It seems as how, when you took these all-purpose make-it-work pills, you didn’t have to worry about the 4-hour limit. You know, “call your doctor if it lasts more than four hours”; or, as some guys say, “stand on the front porch and show off.”