I Didn't Know The Gun Was Loaded

That’s the name of a 1949 popular song, as well as what comes after “Uh-oh,” when the thing goes off.

I really, really don’t want to cash in my chips in some totally useless manner. A drive-by shooting would be one of them; you’re walking down the street, minding your own business, when someone pops you as part of a gang initiation. Another would be having a block of “ice” fall on you from the sky; in reality, an airplane emptying its toilet storage, which freezes on the way down. Killed by a falling bucket of frozen piss.

Oddly enough, speaking of option #1, most people who are shot get plugged by someone they know. Whether it’s a person doing it deliberately, or someone mistaking you for a burglar, both ends of the gun are not strangers.

Maybe I’ve already mentioned this, but I’d like to wrap it up here in such a manner that it would make the front page of the New York Times. Being shot by a deranged pope, for instance; picked up and carried by a couple of eagles and then released about 200 feet up just over a parking lot. Things like that. It would even make the front page of the Weekly World News, I’d bet.

What’s really going to happen? Probably something very mundane, although you never know. Friend of mine from Indiana was fatally kicked by a giraffe in Africa.