Wednesday, May 09, 2007

The Candidates For Coroner

We have three candidates for the office of Coroner in our county. One is a physician and is letting everyone know that fact, even though he is not allowed to perform autopsies or do any forensic investigating. That part he fails to mention.

The other two are funeral directors. They, also, cannot do autopsies or do forensic stuff, but they do a lot of body prep and can be of great help to the person who does.

So all three are probably evenly matched, although I’d put my money on the undertakers. All the deputy coroners around here are morticians and there must be a reason for it.

There are jobs you take because you need the money: Stocking shelves at WalMart, bundling newspapers overnight as they are being printed, things like that. And there are jobs you take because you have a certain fascination with that field and feel you can do it well. Checking out people to find why they have checked out is one of them.

It’s a great service. So is going into a burning building to look for victims, facing bank robbers with just you and your service revolver. But there’s something about being the coroner that makes me think that being a cashier at KMart isn’t all that bad.

The position used to be “an officer of the Crown,” back in Merrie Olde England. The word is from “corone,” meaning “crown.” When I was a Notary, I found out it used to be an Ecclesiastical office (church thing). That’s sure inspiring, but definitely dull. Of the two official offices, which would you choose? Dull, or messy?

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