My Favorite Is...

I just received another “Getting to know your friends” lists yesterday. Some of them ask for information I don’t care to pass on, even to friends; this one was user-friendly.

1. What is your occupation? “Oh, golly, gee willikers,” as the former Donald Rumsfeld would say. I’m a broadcaster, newspaper columnist, very active in my church and semi-retired.

2. What color are the socks you are wearing? Mixed, as usual.

3. Can you drive a stick shift? Yes, and can double-clutch as well.

4. What is on the floor of your closet? You don’t want to know. I mean, if I don’t want to know, then you sure don’t.

5. Cherry or Blueberry? Pumpkin.

6. What are you afraid of? Going to Hell. More immediately, having a useless death as the result of a drive-by shooting.

7. Favorite smells? Mothballs, low tide in a swamp during July or August, flowers.

8. Favorite saying? (a) Don’t do anything that will scandalize the children or stampede the cattle. (b) There’s always one more imbecile than you expected. (c) Christ is coming; look busy. (d) One never knows, do one?