Saturday, August 26, 2006

Yes, Suh, Ah Do Believe Ah Has Arrived

Eleanor Menges, age 81, appeared in the obituary page yesterday, possibly to her surprise, possibly not. With someone known by her relatives as "Foxy," she may well have gone out with her shoes on.

For whatever reason, as the obituary says, "Eleanor was conferred the rank of Kentucky Colonel by Governor Brereton Jones." Prior to this, I had thought the title was given to cigar-smoking, spittoon-aiming, bourbon-drinking, well-placed politicos. Guess not.

Guess not especially when I saw a list of some Kentucky Colonels: Bob Hope, Joan Crawford, General Omar Bradley, Mae West, Muhammad Ali and the late Pope John Paul II.

The Pope was a Kentucky Colonel? Same as Harlan Sanders of KFC fame? And Elvis Presley's manager (and Dutch draft-dodger) Col. Tom Parker? I wonder if they ever met and, like the colonels of old, shared war stories over a bottle of Kentucky mash. Nah; never happen.

I'd love to be one and if anyone out there in blogland happens to be from Kentucky, see what you can do. It would be an interesting line item for my obituary and maybe I could use the title now and then before, like the old Derby winners, I get put out to stud. (That's a poor analogy, but I couldn't think of anything that would link Kentucky with going to heaven.)

Pass me a bourbon there, son; ah, thank you, mighty nice of you.