Monday, April 19, 2010

Hundreds Of Grocery Bags

Want some grocery bags? I’ve got some; more than some, I’ve got maybe close to a thousand as far as I can guess. All cleanly and tightly packed and put away.

The only difference between me and people on the “Hoarders” tv show is that I am not collecting any more, I use them daily as my wastebasket liners (going through two or three) and they were free from the newspaper where I am employed part-time as a music columnist. And there hangs a tale.

Seems a how OfficeMax wanted the paper to insert what we would call grocery bags into the newspapers with special offers printed on the outside. Naturally, they sent more than we needed – way more. Like, a thousand more and don’t bother sending them back. So they were sitting near the pressroom door, dangerously close to the dumpster.

I saw them, said, “Where are these going?” and someone replied, “In your car, if you want.” I did, as these were better than the plastic grocery bags I had been using. In the trunk, in the back seat, in the front seat, on the back and front floors; anywhere I could fit them. The same went for my room: they had to be out of the way, yet handy.

OfficeMax has since done another insert, but I had no intention of packing away another thousand bags. That’s the difference between me and a hoarder; I know when to stop and what my limit is. Although the pile of bags has gone down since I grabbed them, there are plenty for whatever future is to come.


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