Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Hang 'Em High

Dwabba, the Downtown Wilkes-Barre Business Association, is attempting to bring our downtown into a coma, which would be a forward step from death. They actually have done a pretty good job and it’s more like critically ill rather than a coma.

I’ve got a solution that most people think is sick. Have public hangings.

Really. Look at all the advantages they would bring:

Social: People would come out and mingle with each other. This city is divided into sections and that is not good.

Business: It’s a sure shot for the ice cream, pizza and pierogi trucks, plus walk-ins to the brick-and-mortar places. A business boon!

Overcrowded Jails: A little less jamming prisoners in like rats, thus avoiding riots and the misery that comes from those tensions.

Pickpockets: Always a lucrative business for the boys.

Deterrent to Crime: Probably not; anyone who does something wrong, whatever it might be, always thinks they can get away with it. But for a pleasant Saturday or Sunday afternoon’s day out, I’ll meet you in Public Square.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Used to do that in the beginnings of the colonies.....there were no taxes, and so if you were found guilty...up you went. One of the worst crimes, believe it or not, was robbery after dark. Remember there was no electricity. those who were in jail, they had to be fed, most times by their spouses, regardless of the crime, even if was adultery!

Ok, public hangings, you bring in a few beer stands, a band, a chip truck or two, have a chili cook-off while you're at it, free parking and t'would be a grand ol' time.


June 11, 2009 4:01 PM  
Blogger D.B. Echo said...

Where would we hang them? The crosspiece of the big Pi? Naaah, too low. How about that ball-trapped-in-a-cage thingie?

Could we hang Hugo Selinski with a rope made from knotted bedsheets?

June 11, 2009 6:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know, these kind of things start out as jokes and then....

June 12, 2009 6:46 AM  
Blogger Tom Carten said...

Ain't nobody going to change the legal system and/or the capital punishment system based on what they read in "Things at King's."

Butterflies really don't start tornadoes.

June 12, 2009 10:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Again,*joke*---- I don't translate well into this electronic media....

May be Butterflies don't start tornadoes but they can be pretty powerful

June 13, 2009 8:04 AM  
Blogger Tom Carten said...

Not only that, but they can fly to Mexico (at least, the Monarchs) and back without having to take off their shoes or show a passport.

June 13, 2009 12:17 PM  

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