Sunday, April 01, 2007

Always One More Imbecile Than You Expected

There seems to be a rash of “falling off a cruise ship” events recently. Or, an increase in people falling off cruise ships. I’ve even run into people who want to know if it’s safe to take a cruise, or will they stand a chance of falling off.

It’s not exactly like climbing the rim of the Grand Canyon, wearing sneakers. It’s not even like climbing onto your roof from a ladder. It’s more like your 6-month-old falling out of a tall-sided crib.

It helps if you are sitting on the railing; it helps if you are drunk; it really helps if you are drunk *and* sitting on the railing. But first you have to get up onto the railing, and that takes some doing, because the railing is high.

You’re not really falling off the ship, nor are you jumping. We need a new term to describe what happens. “He performed an imbecilic movement” might be the right one.

Everybody has a story.
Local resident Eve Brooks passed away recently. “Eve was a talented accordionist and vocalist; as a young woman, she performed professionally and at one point in her career, she was even invited to join Bob Hope’s USO tour. Always game to try anything once, in her 70s she parasailed in Hawaii. She took great pride in her home and was even known to scrub her garage floor monthly. In her younger years, Eve was a shoe model; she was considered to have the perfect-size foot.”