I've Got An Idea

I've got an idea: The next time someone tells me the world is coming to an end, I'll ask him to give me all his money. Hey -- he's not going to be using it the next day, so why not give it to me? If he's right, neither one of us will be using it. If he's wrong, I'll have enough to help pay for a cruise and he will look like the idiot he is.

I've got an idea: When someone asks me a rather personal question, I'll lie. "What are those medications for?" I reply, "One is for an uncontrollable rage that comes upon me, the second is to stop projectile vomiting and the third is for something I got from a rat bite that I'd rather not discuss."

I've got an idea: If I'm around someone who is the poster boy/girl for the American Nasty Society, I will be so oblivious. I'll just carry on as if it's a normal person in a normal conversation, smiling and making small talk in a normal, conversational voice. I bet it'll drive them absolutely nuts out of their mind.

I've got an idea: When I am in a restaurant and the waiter (m/f) is having a bad night, on my way out I'll say, "I did this when I was young; I know what it's like. Hang in there." Even if I didn't have that job, it might make the waiter feel as if someone is a battle buddy and understands. That can lessen the load of the person's shift.

I've got an idea: When I don't want to do something that's not required, I'll just say "no." I won't give a reason, because people can find a way around it. I'll just say "no" and follow it with, "I don't want to, thanks." Just because someone wants to go to a bar, or to this place or that, does not mean I have to. I won't lose their friendship over it and, if I do, they weren't real friends anyway; no loss. I don't have to be a doormat just to make other people happy for the moment.

I've got an idea: Turn the tv on when necessary, and only when necessary. Get friends with the quiet, if only in hour or two-hour segments. Some night, you'll forget to turn it on at all and --oh, wow-- didn't miss it.